Humans are Robots

I like to think of Humans
As robots
So when
Somebody is getting angy
I live to believe
He forgot his cortosol today
Or maybe forgot to clean engine
As if he could have taken a pill
And somehow could have been
Less anxious
Less fearful
For these chemical reactions
That run us are not us
There are these micro bots
Who follow
their own laws
 Laws they have learned
through thousands of years of evolution
Laws that they learned
from their own limited experience
Microbots mean well
They are their for help
But they are not perfect
They make mistakes
They get tired and old
It is important than
to keep them in good shape
And one some of them misfires
Makes a wrong decision
Not to punish the human
But to fix the bots
Because its they
who run the show...

I miss you

I miss you
These three words
More powerful than
the complimentary
I love you
Because
the convey vulnerability
But yesterday
When you send me
These
They had lost something
Some emotion
Something which had made them
So beautiful
Consoling to me
I being important enough
Being missed
Your I miss you
Sounded like
"Earth revolves around the sun"
"Force equals mass into acceleration"
Some natural law
To which us human
can't do anything
But to obey
It is maybe because
there is another such law
Newtons second law of motion
every force has an equal and opposite force
I replied
I miss you too
Helpless
In my limited human potential 

SHE

There is a girl
Big eyes,
Maybe bigger heart
Cries like a baby
Rolled up to her thighs
Smiles with all her 32 teethes
And with her eyes

Beautiful just wont suffice
She is much more
Easy going, friendly
Lost in her world
Solving riddles
of some kind.

She carries the world on her shoulders
An atlas in her own rights
She is called on often
By friends and other
Who seek her time
Though she is always running
She stops
She finds time

She was born with her screw driver
She loves to fix things
Like a moth to light
She yearns for broken items
Why this fascination?
When Broken things
mostly rot and die


If you open your heart to her
She will readily curl in
If she opens her heart to you
You better curl in

She is just the kind of girl
Who will give you all the time
She will tell you everything
Who wont go for an easy out
But one day,
She will turn back
And walk away

On days she will cry
For the leaf that falls
On others she will pass
storms with smiles
She is something else
Something you can't reach
It upto her if she wants to reach you

Chupa lete hai woh

Log dikhate nahi hai ghav,
Chuppa lete hai
Band dete hai pattiya
Kabhi plastar bhi chadda lete hai,
Aate hai phir khareebi
Likhte hai
Get well soon
Agar dikhaye phirte
Log apni chott
Toh shayad kuch alag hi jahan hota
Log grossed out km hote
Shayad marham bhi
Kuch jyada hota

breakup letter

Dear Rupa,

I have always been dry and emotionless most times. One of my gifts. So still I don't cry very often. I am still like a dry fish which someone just pulled out of the water. My lungs still getting sucked of oxygen as I wait for things to die.

The 300kms distance from Delhi is somehow more than what is used to be. Today when I saw Delhi Bus there was not that the usual smile that used to cover my face, it was a kinda dread that took over me. There are few things that I want to tell you before I let you go. First is as we have started telling each other. I will be here for you and I assume that you will there for me as well. Thanks for that. I won't ask for much. I can't ask for much. Not because I have suddenly developed pride, as you know, in-front of you, my ego dissolves like salt in water. But still, I would believe that you will there for me. For over the years that's what kept us going through tough times. And maybe will help me go through for the rest of this overwhelming journey.

 Secondly, if you tell me someday that we want to meet, that you need help, that you miss me, please do.  I won't assume that the lava of our love has somehow found its way to the thrust, or you just need me for emotional or other support, we don't have to be 'couples' to support each other. It has been a painful learning. And as I have come on the other side of the bridge, I understand it better. You just have to say it. And I will be there. I will wait.

 I understand that I have lost your love and it was painful (still is) but in my wise moments, I understand you enough to let you go. I will always be the president of Harshita Fan Club, and always be indebted to you for all the beautiful moments we have shared in the last four years. Waise Bhi for how long anyone can be sad for the four most beautiful years of his life.

 This quote came back to me on my walk to a waterfall "You can't step into a river twice". For the river is always changing/flowing. I had kept this photograph of the river and thought that this was my river, my favorite river but little did I understood that the river was moving while I was the one stagnant. I still have the photograph though and I keep looking at it. You are right, we imperfect humans love imperfectly. We are in love with the idea of a person. After some time all that remains is an idea when the person has long gone.  


I loved when one day you said that you are "happier" after the breakup because that is exactly where I wanted you to be if we ever broke up. Not happy/satisfied/ chal-raha-hai. But Happier. I will take my time. I am a bit slow at this. But will be joining you soon in the "Happier-Zone".

Thanks,
Taara

Kaunsi Bus? Kaunsi Train?

Jab aaya tha Delhi
Pheli baar ,
Yeh soch k aaya tha
Agar woh Bus station pe na aayi
Toh pakkad lunga woh agli bus
Ghar ko wapis

Magar tum agayi thi
Gulab hath meh liye

Kuch dafah aur yeh silsila
Chalta raha
Har baar meh sochta
Agar nahi aayi woh
Toh yeh train pakkadunga
Kabhi woh bus

Phir kuch samay meh muje
Tumhare ghar ka rasta yaad ho gaya
Ab km rehti thi yeh soch
Ki nahi aayi toh kya karunga
Mahine beete phir beete saal
Tumhare nahi aane ka darr
Kuch khatam sa hogaya
Ab jab hum sath nahi hai


Ab jab kabhi phone karta hu
Toh sochta hu
K nahi uttayigi toh kya karunga?
Kaunsi bus pakkdunga
Kaunsi train dudunga?

Dil toot gaya

Abhi kuch alag sa hi pata chala
Jab dil toote hai dubara
Phir bhi utna hi dard hota hai
Yeh kya baat hui
Matlab har baar ginti dobara
Ek ladki hai bholi se
Apne papa ki ladli bhi
Yeh soch k dil machal jata hai
Ki kaise khatt rahi hogi woh raatein
Kuch aur hai,
Aise hi log jo guzzar rahe
Iss trauma se
Jisse modern log kehte hai heartbreak
Padda tha mehne ki
Rome meh bhi kayi log
Pyaar k dard se apni masuka k agan meh fasi laga lete hai
Ek kissa muje bhi pata hai
Sochta hu ki kya ban aata hoga unke dimag meh
Kya duniya se khatam hojati unki
Kya nahi dikhta hoga un chand raat meh
Toote hue dil par
Kayi gaane hai
Kayi nazme hai
Magar meh sochta hu
Kitne hai itni nazzme
Jo likhi gayi hongi
Meri tarah achanak neend se utt k
Kyu kiya jata hai
itna romanticize yeh phrase
Jo chalta hoga kisi ki zindagi
do ya jyada se jyada char mahina

Kaise-kya

Jab meh shuru karta hu meh
Mere pass koi theme nahi hoti
Hoti hai toh ek kujli
Hoti hai toh ek pheli
Jis k baare meh sochne k liye
Keyboard meh kuch kuch type karta hu meh
Poety ka toh kuch bhi pata nahi
Shayad jo likhta hu
Woh koi pada likka keh de
Ki yeh
Yeh toh poety hai bhi nahi
Magar apna kam chal jata hai
Khatam hone tak poetry
Ek sukkun sa mill jata hai
Mil jata hai kuch jawab
ya phir koi aur bada sawal
Jis k samne apna sawal ko jata
Apna kam hojata hai.. _/\_

Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Main Poet: Munir Niazi

Zaruri Bat Kahni Ho
Koi Wada Nibhana Ho
Use Awaz Deni Ho
Use Wapas Bulana Ho
Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Main

Madad Karni Ho Uski
Yar Ki Dharas Bandhana Ho
Bahut Derina Raston Par
Kisi Se Milne Jana Ho
Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Main

Badalte Mausamon Ki Sair Main
Dil Ko Lagana Ho
Kisi Ko Yad Rakhna Ho
Kisi Ko Bhul Jana Ho
Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Main

Kisi Ko Maut Se Pahle
Kisi Gam Se Bachna Ho
Haqiqat Aur Thi Kuch
Us Ko Ja K Ye Batana Ho
Hamesha Der Kar Deta Hun Main

Poetry and love

Read your poems
Again,
All of them.
Yeah all of them
Was tying to find me
In some of them
Yeah that was me
I jump off when people touch my butt
I also have trouble taking to dad
And the other one
It had my photo too
That should have been for me
How does it matter?
It was for me.
Or him.
Or for anyone else?
Poetry should be beautiful
Poetry should be comforting
That's what poetry is for
Its not about you and me

The Spring is here

Teri di hui woh tight jeans
Ab ek dum fit aati hai

Ab one word messages reply dekh k
Kuch km toota hai mera dil

Mummy ki tension bhi km hui hai
Ab ghar meh chawal phir se jyada banne lage hai

Ab nahi sota tere bag p sar rakke meh
Neend bhi jaldi aa hi jati hai

Bechani bhi km hai
Berukhi kuch jyada

Kya khoya - kya paya
K records bhi km banata hu meh

Shayad nikal aaye hum jungle se
Halka sa suraj phirse nazar anne laga hai

Compassion

If you break Compassion into two parts it come as suffering together. I have always wanted to be a more compassionate person but I also have trouble feeling my own emotions forget other. I am trying to change that. 

As I am going through a heart break one of the few questions that I go back to again and again. Is she suffering too? And you would be astonished at the number of creative ways I have come to answer this question. Co-suffering I think is important to in Love or any other relationship. Once that has ended we can say the relationship has ended as well. 

Then again I wonder. I am so full of myself. Most of my thoughts revolve around me. Even this heart break I am majorly concentrated on my hurt, can we ever hope that people will come out of their way to feel an uncomfortable emotion. Maybe that is one reason I cannot look beggars in the eye. 

Wishes from Sunsets

I am an Athiest. I don't believe in myths related to Gods. Although I believe in myths of Humans which are of constitution and human rights. Anyways I have this happy place where I go to watch sunsets. I have been there many a times with many a people. I always think to myself when I am there. I make a wish. I have wished so deeply there to cure me of anxiety. I have wished to reach a milestone. In my mind I have thought to myself that something so beautiful can somehow be healing too. There might be a strange belief. But I always ask something from a setting sun.  Its weird. 

Mary Oliver : In Blackwater Woods

Every year everything I have ever learned in my lifetime leads back to this: the fires and the black river of loss whose other side is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
Mary Oliver In Blackwater Woods

Being Love..

"Darling I am here for you"

"Darling I know you are there and I am really happy'

"Darling you suffer that is why i am here for  you"

"Darling i suffer please help"

Letters to Young lovers

I am no romantic,
No Schopenhauer
No Shakespeare
But I think I have some insights to share


You who steal kisses
at every opportunity you get
You will hurt each other
You will hurt each other
very much..


You will cry silently,
Behind closed doors
Someone might even convince you
That you can be strong by yourself
You don't need this
But a better option to mumble,
"Darling I suffer, I need help"


When you hug each other
Say a silent prayer
Mortals are our bodies
Someday we will part
Let that thought cleanse you
Of your expectation, anxieties and hurt


Listen,
But listen to yourself first
Love,
But love yourself first
Forgive,
But forgive yourself first
For a glass which is full of water
Can really quench someone's trust

If your love is a prison,
For the one you love
Is it really love?


Lastly,
Be aware of blame
And resentment
For both of you are new at this
Raw passionate emotions
You are not well qualified to tackle this

But love you must
For you are in the Disney Land
And Rollar Coasters are such a hit...

Ummedo ko daman

Woh jab gir rahe
the makan kabhi udhar
kabhi idhar
Hum bhete the kidki meh apne
Kuch toh baat kar rahe the hum
Shayad uss subah
Phir meh good night bina kahe so gaya tha
Ya shayad phir tum ghar der se aayi thi
Jo bhi tha..
Socha tha yeh jo hummara
hai ghar ..
Yeh bnaye hai Ambuja Cement hai
Sasta hai bhi hai
Aur sabse achha bhi hai bhi..
Bana liya karte the kabhi kabhi
Cafe phaddo meh bhi
Painting bhi toh karayi thi abhi
Kisko pata tha..
Yeh toofan k baare meh
Chat meh bhet kar aksar
Muje lagta tha ki
Yuhi beete gi ab zindagi
Sath bheete bheete
Suraj ko takte
Ab jab achanak se utta hu meh
toh dikh raha hai apna ghar gira hua
Pados k ghar meh bheta hai ek joda

Living Dead!

I see a boy,
Dancing in the rain,
People try to stop him,
But he is too fast for them.

The older he grows,
Slowly that child dies,
Burdened with responsibilities,
Now in Rain,the 'Man' cries.

I want to shout at him,
Tell him,
It's okay to fly,
Next moment passes,
On my deathbed,
"I AM ALIVE" .

The Sociopath.

Do you know,
How it feels?
To be in the dark,
To always wear a mask.

Do you know,
How it feel?
To lock yourself in a cell,
Not bothered,whats going in hell.

Do you know,
How it feels?
To have fear of light,
to hide your tears from passing bys.

Do you know,
How it feels?
To hide your scars,
So that,no one can take them apart.

Do you know,
How it feel?
To love the dark,
To find serenity in a broken heart.

DO YOU?

Take me As I am...

It's alright,
That you don't understand.
It's not you,
It's me and the pieces lost.

You see me as a puzzle,
Like a painter with no hands.
Some nights, you might not sleep,
Thinking, what creature is this Man?

It's just I don't want to show you,
How broken I am...
Trust me,
If you could see my wounds,
All you will feel is sympathy in my name.

This might seem tough,
But our friendship would withstand.
I know you have a big heart,
Maybe it's bigger than I am.

Nothing at all..

Neither my father's ideal son,
Nor my mother's beloved moon,
I am just a failure,
Born to bring misery to my loved ones.

Neither my sister's proud brother
Nor my girlfriend's worthy lover,
Only a letdown for them all,
like a shameless feather,
Today I finally fall.

Neither my teacher's favorite student,
Nor my country's valiant soldier,
I am a mere "nothing".
& nothing at all.

Neither my friend's true comrade,
Nor my neighbor's helping hand,
Knowingly, unknowingly,
I have let you down all,
Its all my fault.

Neither true to myself,
Nor to the world,
Breaking my own promises,
Not a man of my words.

With pain in eyes,
Disgust in my heart,
Today I must confess,
For I am,
just a mere "nothing"
& nothing at all.

Woh din kaisa hoga..:o

Teri yaad gaamo ka ilaj hai,
Soch tujko pana kaisa hoga..

Teri awaz mere jeene ka masksad,
Soch tuje dekh pana kaisa hoga..

Tere txt mere muskurane ki wajah..
Soch tujse hath millana kaisa hoga..

Yu toh jeena hai tere liye itna sexy..
Soch tere liye mar jana kaisa hoga.

Train of thoughts!

There is a fire that is burning me from within,
That fire people cant see in the coldness of my smile..
But it hurts inside,
It burns inside..

The smoke runs in the hoarse voice..
in the longing to be alone..
Where I don't have to pretend..
Where nobody can see ..
Something in me is dying,
Every second I breathe..

I may have to live with the fire,
the entire time.
Losing all that once I thought was time.
Into that valley of nothingness..
Where light cant reach,
& I need not hide..

The fire sets me free,
it lives in me..
To kill something I may not need..
But whose to judge..
That fire burns for me?
or against me?

All I can see is flames rising..
Rising to laugh at me,
when I bleed!

Confused eh?

The thin line
Between holding close and letting go..
Between judging and indifference..
Between calm and quiet..
Between hurting and getting hurt.
Between happiness and escapism.
Between accepting and enduring.
Between sad and afraid..
Between forgetting and forgiving..
Between what has to be and what is..
Between hiding and smiling..
In those lines,
I often find myself, LOST!!

Broken Down!!!

It starts with nothingness,
Just like lightning
Far Far away in the sky,
Just like any other storm,
I have seen them
My entire life..
Nothing I cant fight.
But It feels different now
It feels like I am drowning
This is worse than dying.

I have imagined this event.
Many, many times,
In happy & sad moments
When we were lying next to each other,
& when we were far- far away
I never thought it would burn so much,
I never thought it would hurt so much

I always knew I was strong,
This fort that I have build around me
Brick by brick
Insulating me from any emotion
I used to think
It can stand any storm.
It turns out I was wrong,
With every passing moment,
The urge to be with you grows
Like a madmen's obsession
I watch out for you on my phone

This plastic smile,
which I keep for people nearby
It haunts me long,
I cant put up with it anymore,
I want to cry,
I need to cry.

My heart is burning
& My mind has gone wild.
I don't know where to hide
I don't know whom to tell,
My house is on fire.
My house is on fire
My house is on fire

And you slept..

It was that night of crazy love making
Of kises, and hugs
Of dark and light..
We were both exhausted
You went to sleep
I was staring at you for long
Your beautiful face with an open mouth
It was so child like
How much light was there
I dont know but you were shining
Shining like a pearl in the ocean
You placed your hand on me
And slowly your weinght shftited to me
For a childlike face you were happy
I gasped for air
But didnt wake up for some reason
maybe I was feeling heroic
wanted to carry you in my arms
I can be stupid like that
& you were in deep sleep
Must be in dreams in foreign land
Fighting ungodly things
Bringing them to light
But you wern't light
You were heavy
And I kissed your forehad
Like they do in fairytales
I was feeling heroic for sure
& I kept looking
Untill I fell asleep
The best sleep in a long time

I see, I judge

People in streets,
Wearing black robes,
With small hammers by their sides
Looking carefully at each passerby
Making announcements 
She is a hore
& that guy looks like dubledore
Attack they say is the best form of defense
They have painted the world red in self defence
Why do we small prey to this?
Why do we categorize?
Do everything you see belongs in so box or another
Do you always have judge?
Why do you hate so many people
Why the most piss you off
Its maybe because you measure yourself to them
And always always you fall shot
Its not them
Its your eyes
They say love people
Compassion is the greatest gift 
But what can we do if we just know judge
If its the impusle
If we cant help but to judge
Cant we learn by mere looking 
Can looking be possible without the mind
Why do as soon as I hear a news
I know if this 
Good for me or 
this is bad
I didn't think
I didn't analyze
I knew as soon as I heard it
I am fucked 
It a high tide
And my mind goes banana
Why do I judge 
It just makes me sad
butI cant help it
maybe I am not wise
But sooner or later 
I will realise the world that they have created
will one day break
One day I will look them in the eye
and just look them in the eye
Than when I will see something incredible
whe I will not be defensive at their sight
I hope I will
And this poem might not have lead me there
But I will keep on trying

Medocre me

Nobody remembers the second,
Be Exceptional, Be noteworthy, Outstanding
How many time Have I been told that?
That your purpose is go to sky and beyond
& How many times I have dreamed of these places
Where I stand in front of huge crowds
Shining..
I used to think that the day a man starts feeling that he is average
That day he dies,
A corpse move from that day onward
& I will never see such a day
A day where I will stop seeking the glory
The thought amuses me now
I have stop seeking the glory of future
To gain the spot light in big stages
I have said bye to that throne from a distance
This is not my calling
to be the extraordinary
I have realized that their is some solace in mediocrity
I have realized that I one with everyone I meet
everything I say
then where is the question of being unique
there are connections
which ma or may not have a Si-Fi term
but I have felt them
I am one with all of them
So maybe like the poem
Mediocre as it is
but it is and it is better than a void..
Mediocrity is beautiful..
It sees more as alike

Meh likh raha hu?

Meh kuch likh raha hu
Kya likh raha hu
Pata nahi?
Kyu likh raha hu
Iss bare meh socha nahi
Mai kuch likh raha hu

Meh chal raha hu
Kaha jara hu?
Andaza nahi
Kyu ja raha hu?
Kyuki kahi toh jaana hai
Mai likh raha hu

Darti ghum rahi hai
Kyu ghum rahi hai
Kahi pauch bhi rahi?
Nahi wahi ghum rahi hai
Mai likh raha hu

Uske sath rehna achha lagta hai
Kyu lagta hai?
Bas lagta hai..
Uske sath rehna kya hamesha achha lagega?
Yeh bekkar ki baat hai
Meh likh raha hu

Meh kuch soch raha hu,
Sochne se soch sudharti hai kya?
Itna pata toh nahi
Kya pata hai phir?
Pata nahi..
Meh likh raha hu

All in your Head

That Beautiful Girl that passed you by,
The rise of Heartbeat when she looked into your eye,
The Smile you think she showed you
All in your Head

That pain in the stomach,
That name of the medicine you can't remember,
That helping friend who skipped college for you
All in your Head

The communist revolution,
The Capitalist acquisitions,
The Money, the pleasure, the sex
All in your head

That token of appreciation,
That feeling of guilt,
That mindless thoughts
All in your head

That depression that you hide
That Anxiety in your stomach,
That bliss of the moment
All in your Head

Nothing

What an asshole" She Said
But I am not an asshole
I have a asshole
If not an asshole
Who am I?
The part of the brain that store memory
Or the part which holds the Genes
The knowledge which has been transferred through ages
But these are also a part of me
Why am I not the air I breathe
which mixes with blood to go through the entire body
Why am I not the apple I ate
Which provided energy to whole of my being..
Why am I so conditioned to identify myself with a part of brain
Which science tells us change...
I am much more than it can be..
I am the universe..
The water of the sea, the snow of the mighty Himalayas, the air which can bring storms, the flower of the spring..
I am in it all..
I am the infinity
I am not someone trapped in a Human Body
I am the Universe

Somebody

Just woke up,

Feeling hungry,

I feel like eating something,

An egg would suffice

Maybe a boiled egg would be better.

I want it to tell this to somebody

Met this girl on a bus,

Was traveling to Nainital,

Bob cut, torn jeans

Asked me about the bus

And about the accommodations

I wish we could have exchanged number

She was nice

I want to describe her to somebody

Am reading stranger by Albert Camus,

Deals with authority and nihilism

It's a good  read,

I feel nauseatic at the end of it,

Heart pacing,

I wish somebody could explain me my biology

Somebody who won't  explain

Why is there the Modi Wave

Or how global warming is changing the face of Earth

Somebody who would be interested in my small 2kms town

Somebody who would tell me how she fell down

tripping over an imaginary stone

Somebody I knew..

Somebody who knew me..

How are you?

I am fine,

Well mostly

I don't know

I feel like crying

Sometimes

When a friend has cracked a good joke

I am allright

I am fine,

Curled up in the bed

Watching a TV episode,

Suddenly I realise

I have no freakin idea

What Ross said to Rachel?

And why is Phebbe crying?

I replay the whole thing

No big deal

I am fine,

I feel sometimes this fire in my belly

Like something has got hold of my gut

Not letting it go

I know its nothing

And most times it goes

I am fine,

Its stange,

I wakeup everyday at 3 Am

Somebody has put an alarm in my body

And forgot

I dread sleep wont come

But it comes 

I get by 

I am fine,

My mind wanders,

Like that of Archemedies 

Working on a problem

Tirelessly, 

And I wonder 

Someday I too will 

run out of bath

Saying 

"Eureka Eureka"

I cracked it

Its not that bad